Continuing on from last week, today we’re looking at four more things that happy people do and don’t do. If you missed part one, you can read it here.
You might be thinking, “But, Jess, you’ve already gone over three points already. What more could there be?”
Well, so far we’ve covered:
- They don’t well on the past
- They focus on the here and now
- The recharge
Well, you’d be surprised how much of a difference there is between people who are sad, and those who are happy. As always, Google brings up tonnes of results on this very topic. But here are some more important points to help you on your quest to becoming a happier person.
Oh, before you start reading, don’t forget you can still get a free download all about gratitude. Just click the button below and pop in your details. It’ll be delivered to your mailbox:
4. They don’t spend time with toxic people
We’ve all known toxic people, whether we realise it or not, at some point in our lives (much like stress and anxiety!). It’s those friends that say things behind your back. Or the family member that constantly puts you down.
Maybe they’ve promised to change their ways but never followed through? Or it’s just those people that have nothing worthwhile to say and would rather talk about what’s happening in other people’s lives.
Over time, it brings you down. Happy people don’t let this happen, and are able to recognise a toxic person when they see one. For someone who has seen their fair share of toxic people, this is easy. But, for me – not so much. Maybe you’re like me too and struggle to notice the signs?
Think about it like this. The way you view yourself is as a result of previous circumstances that have led you to develop these thoughts.
Well, here are some tips to help you to recognise a toxic person, and what to do about it:
- Notice when someone puts you down – this can sometimes be a tough one as putting someone down can often be indirect. Take note of the words they used and whether the words are positive or not. Body language also gives a lot away about how someone feels about you. Don’t feel good around them? Gradually close them off.
- Notice when someone constantly cancels on you (leaving you feeling deflated) – okay so I know when someone cancels on you it will most likely be absolutely innocent. But if someone doesn’t want to spend time with you and you find them constantly cancelling on you, it might be time to loosen the reins a bit. If you feel deflated when they cancel, you’re certainly not going to feel happy. Direct your energy into something else instead.
- Be aware of those who take advantage of your relaxed nature – this is a biggie right here. Some people are generally not very nice people and would happily take advantage of your nature if you let them. I know it’s happened to me before. I’m happy just going along with things most of the time but some people will use you for it.
- Don’t let people take advantage of your generosity – whether it’s time or money, don’t let people take advantage of you. If you don’t want to do something, say no. What’s the worst that can happen if you say no?
- Spend time with those who make you feel cherished, valued and happy. Life is too short to spend time with people who don’t make you feel this way.
Although I know these points can feel daunting, your overall happiness depends on it.
5. They value their self-worth
Anxiety damages our self-worth massively.
There isn’t a day that goes by where I question myself and I wish I could stop it. But what I’ve come to realise is that although anxiety chips away at your self-worth, it is possible to slow those damaging thoughts.
Being human means at some point in our lives, we are all going to have negative thoughts about ourselves. But happy people are able to control these thoughts, or at least recognise when our self-worth is low. They know that these moments will pass, and that at the end of the day, they are just thoughts.
Think about it like this. The way you view yourself is as a result of previous circumstances that have led you to develop these thoughts. These thoughts are negative, but you do have happy moments too, am I right? Of course. You celebrate these moments, take photos and remember those days.
You can conjure up those happy moments in the blink of an eye. You can conjure up unhappy moments in the same way. You can focus on the happy times, or the times that aren’t so bad with no issues.
So, when you find your mind wandering so those moments when you lacked in self-worth, or when you’re doubting yourself, just spend time focusing on the good stuff. REMIND yourself of the great things you’ve done, or take yourself away to a happy moment in your life.
Being happy is all about choosing to be happy. Lacking in self-worth can be controlled just as easily as controlling your thoughts.
Want to read more? Have a read of this post – 6 Tips To Getting Rid Of Poor Self Worth.
6. They keep things simple
Have you ever cleared out your wardrobe and felt good after? Or chucked away/donated items you didn’t need anymore and instantly felt lighter? That’s the beauty of keeping things simple. Clutter in the house clutters the mind so I always recommend throwing away anything you don’t need.
Saying that though, I found this eye-opening quote through LinkedIn today:
“It is simple to be happy, but it is difficult to be simple”.
As you can tell from this quote, keeping things simple is not always that easy. Our modern lives are complicated and a far stretch from how our ancestors used to live.
So how do you keep things simple when we lead such busy lives? Here are a few ideas:
- Chuck that old stuff away. You don’t need it, and if you’ve not used it in the last 6 months, are you ever going to need it, really?
- Keep some of your time in your schedule clear – you deserve some time off once in a while
- Remember that you don’t need to be busy to feel validated. Being busy and being productive are two very different things
- If you’re trying to solve something and can’t fix it straight away, come back to it tomorrow. There’s no use obsessing over such things for long periods. Take a break!
7. They smile often
My final but not least point to make today is that smiling makes people happy. When you smile, your face lights up. When you’re on the phone and you’re smiling, your demeanour changes today. EVERYONE looks and feels better when they smile.
Just an FYI on this. I know that depression and anxiety can make I really hard to feel like smiling. I’m not going to sugar coat mental health here purely because I know what it’s like.
But, happy people do tend to smile more. Consider this quote from Scientific American:
“It would appear that the way we feel emotions isn’t just restricted to our brain—there are parts of our bodies that help and reinforce the feelings we’re having,” says Michael Lewis, a co-author of the study.
Although this article talks about how people with Botox are happier because they can’t frown, it still makes a really good point. Our emotions can be affected by our physical body, too.
So, although you might be in the throes of anxiety and depression, try and smile. It might just do you a bit of good, and help you improve your mood (even just temporarily).
Okay, there you have it!
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