If you’re contemplating couple’s therapy, your relationship could probably benefit from it. It can be disheartening if your partner disagrees. But before you give up entirely, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I care enough to try and convince my partner to go?
- Is our relationship something I’m willing to work on alone?
If the answers are yes, then there may be hope.
How Can I Change My Partner’s Mind?
If your partner isn’t willing to try couple’s therapy, try to find out why. It may be as simple as a previous bad experience or a fear of opening up in front of a stranger. Many people also have misconceptions about counseling, like that it leads to divorce or it means there’s something wrong with the person.
If your partner is still reluctant, ask if he or she might be willing to do any of the following:
- Go to a trial counseling session
- Visit therapists’ websites
- Read a book or a blog post about the benefits of therapy
- Speak to a therapist on the phone
- Attend a lecture on couple’s therapy
Openly discuss with your partner how much it would mean to you if they worked alongside you to improve the relationship, or how it hurts you that they aren’t willing.
It is vital to avoid ultimatums unless you are serious. Be ready to explain that it is not manipulation, but an honest and respectful communication; sometimes cutting to the quick can avoid a lot of unnecessary pain and wasted time.
Should I Go to Therapy Alone?
Relationships ebb and flow, and sometimes you might have to take the initiative. At the very least, solo counseling could give you an outlet for your dissatisfaction, and a therapist can give you a sense of how a healthy relationship works. If you can focus on being constructive instead of adding to the chaos, it will usually affect the relationship in a positive way.
As you learn to cultivate a healthy connection with your partner, making an effort might show your willingness to work hard on your relationship. Watching you change for the better may inspire your partner to start attending counseling with you.
Therapy teaches that the goal is not to “fix” your partner, but rather to learn how to deal with the inevitable conflict that most couples experience. You can learn to manage your side of an argument more effectively, and perhaps learn tools to diffuse your partner’s anger and frustration. A counselor can generally give you feedback about your communication style and find favorable means of interaction to rely on during stressful times.
Therapy can’t always guarantee success; however, it might give you peace of mind whatever the result. Work on what you can control and call a therapist, such as a couples therapist in Palatine, IL, today.
Thank you to the experts at Lotus Wellness Center, for their contributions to counseling and therapy.
